Monday, December 13, 2010

THE HUNTED

It was a beautiful day I was with my friends and we were having great time. Sun shone brightly. It was a perfectly clear day with not even a single cloud on the sky. Although weather was a bit hot but it was a perfect day for having fun with friends and family. I had the luck of never being alone. I was always surrounded with people and friends and family. I had never experienced loneliness in my life before and that was the reason that I feared being alone or being lonely. I sometimes had nightmares that I was alone and I got trapped at a secluded place where there was nobody. And these nightmares haunted my days when I remembered them or thought about them.
We were grazing in a beautiful savanna with scanty trees. Normally savannas have more tree density but this one had very few trees and vast field of grass. There was a lake nearby, it was the largest body of water in our area and was the source of water and life in this region. The rays of light were shining on the lake and they looked like stars on a clear night or more like sparks of glowing fire. It was a splendid spectacle. I had special attachment with this lake because it was the source of escape from the heat of summer. It also kept us from dehydrating in summer. All in all, this land was a paradise for me. I had fallen in love with my place and my people. 
       I was drinking water from the lake when my eyes caught the glimpse of someone drinking beside me. That person was making a lot of noise while drinking, something like “slurping”. I got irritated by the slurp and raised my head to see the source of noise. I was dumb founded because what I saw was the most beautiful spectacle of my life. She was so different and unique. I had never seen any other female deer like her. She was so gentle and unique, so lovely and sleek, so sprightly and colorful. It was like love at first sight that I heard in stories. It was all so magical. It was like a dream. I was so caught up in that moment that I did not realize what was going on around me. It seemed as if time has stopped and there were only two people on the planet; me and that girl. 
   I was still in the middle of that dream when I heard cries. They seemed to be very distant. I saw her moving away from the lake and noticed that cries had got louder, very loud in fact. Then I realized that something was not all right. I turned my head and looked around  myself. There was chaos all around me. Everybody was confused and puzzled. They were running haphazardly in frenzy. Everyone was moving or trying to move away from the north. Joseph, my childhood friend, was yelling at me. He was saying, “Run for your life.” I was still unable to comprehend what was going around me when I saw four alien creatures moving towards our flock. I had never seen them before. They were heavily built, totally unlike me. I was weak and frail, and had thin legs. On the other hand, they were really muscular and heavily built. They had a powerful and assertive figure and they looked hungry to kill us all. They were Lions, someone had told me about them in my childhood, but I had never seen them before. Then I remembered all. I was told that they were dangerous and they killed us for their meal. 
  I did not know what to do. I knew one thing and it was how to run. I was capable of running at extreme speeds but then I thought where would I go. They had spotted me. They had spotted the weakest link in the chain. May be that’s why they were hunters because they had a remarkable observation, rather a very sharp observation. They had the ability to concentrate and sort out the prey according to its faculties. They could differentiate between the well experienced and the novice. Unfortunately, I was the novice in that scenario. They leapt towards me, I felt a strange kind of boost of energy level in my body and I ran with all the strength I had in my muscles. 
         I was running for my life. I looked towards my friends and relatives, they were encouraging me that I could overcome this hurdle but none tried to help me. I was hoping that my best friends and my family would come for my help. I was hoping that they would give their lives to save mine, that they would fight till the last drop of blood to protect me and that they would never leave me alone. But everything was quite the opposite. They were running for their lives. My life had no importance for them. Even if it had some value in their mind, it was certainly not worth risking or endangering their own. They gave first and foremost priority to their own safety and their life. At that moment, I found out the reality of relationships and friendships. I discovered the golden rule that everyone came alone in this world and would die alone. People only supported you for the sake of their own gains or just to go through the phases of life because they do not want to feel lonely. I lost all my faith in every relation, blood relations and friendship. 
      They were four and I was single, it was four on one situation. They were chasing me and I was trying to out run them. I was thinking the whole time, “Why cannot these savages live in peace? Why is hunt an essential part of their lives? Why cannot they graze pastures and savannas like us? Why they have to feed on peaceful and weak prey like us? Even if they attack us, we never attack them in return. We are so peaceful a creature. Why cannot they learn from us? Why they have to terrorize us?” These questions were haunting my mind while I was running away from them. They were thrilled and excited because they had found their success in me. They knew that I would be an easy trophy to collect. They were thrilled because they saw their prey with in their sight and about to surrender. The hunt had sharpened their reflexes.
         I was running in the straight line, I was dashing away from them blindly and had not noticed that they were gaining on me. Gradually, the distance between us was reducing and I had noticed it. I was more like a novice and cursed veterans that they had not taught me enough  about the inevitable, my destiny to be hunted and my fate to be chased. They were not as slow as I had anticipated them to be and I was almost with in their range. All my life, a few years that I lived, I thought I was the fastest one. I thought nobody could outrun me. Nobody could beat me in race. How wrong I was. I was conceited. At that moment I realized that the world was not centered around me and certainly was not a small place which was my habitat. Rather it was very vast and extensive.  
        I was getting way too predictable and that was the reason that they gained on me. I started to dodge them by moving in a zigzag manner but it was not enough to keep them from launching an effective assault on me. One of them pounced at me, his claws punctured through my hide into the thigh muscles. I made jerky motions of my thighs and got out of his clutches but his claws tore through the fabric of my muscles. I felt a pang of pain in my thigh and my legs started to feel a bit heavier. I realized that blood was spurting out of my leg and it trickled down my thighs onto the ground. I wanted to stop there and cry out loud but I was compelled to carry on with my run despite the urge to give in. Pain was excruciating but I had no choice except ignoring it completely.  
            Then there was another attack, this time the grasp was firm and his canines were into my back. It slowed me down and his weight almost brought me to halt. Then another one pounced at me and got his jaws into my belly. I was seeing death in front of eyes and there was nothing that could save me from the powerful grasp of these beasts. My whole life was flashing in front of my eyes; my sweet days of childhood when I used to play with other children of our clan, my fights with kids I did not like, my habit of ignoring the advice that my elders gave me, my habit of sneaking out of my parents’ custody and hanging out with friends, my days of youth when I used to sit beside the lake and looked at the stars at night, my quarrels with my parents and their caresses. It was all coming back to my mind. I knew this was the time to say good bye to all those happy memories, those sweet merry memories that were to be lost forever. I was sad and tears were running down my eyes. These were not the tears of fear of death as I had accepted that death was inevitable then. These were the tears of losing my loved ones and  losing all those great memories. At that moment time had come to a halt, everything was still and the life around me had ceased to exist. It was just me and my flashbacks.  
        I was in a state of a trance. I was awoken from the trance by the shouts. I looked around and saw hyenas approaching towards us, me and my predators. I also noticed that during my trance state lions had brought me to the ground and completely subdued me. One of them was taking hold of my neck. He was trying to choke me as it was getting difficult for me to breathe. I was starting to feel numb and dizzy. The scene in front of my eyes was getting hazier by the passage of time. I had lost all hope before seeing hyenas. But hyenas gave me a new life. I was again struggling and trying to get out of their grasp. I was hoping and wishing that hyenas would attack these savages and draw them away from me. Hyenas were going to be my saviors, I thought.
          Hyenas were almost more than a dozen. They came closer to the lions and started to shout out louder as if they were warning them to get away from me. One of the lions, the one choking me, moved towards them and roared. He was trying to scare them away with his might and roar but they were out numbering the lions. They were not impressed at all by the lion’s efforts to scare them away. They kept on advancing. Meanwhile, other lions sensed the danger and left me to face hyenas. I was alone for a moment, I could breathe freely and there was no weight on my back or legs. I tried to get up but I was too weak. I was thanking hyenas for saving my life. I was considering them my savior. I did not know that they were scaring lions away to eat me themselves. This was not an act of kindness. This was the deed of taking away the prize of the other. I was no more than a prize to them and it was all game for them. But I was so innocent that I did not know anything about that. I was a bit too optimistic about the nature of the people that surrounded me, whether they were acquaintances or strangers. I always tried to find goodness in other’s hearts. I believed that everyone was good at heart and lacked the cynical approach to life but nature had other plans for me. That day, I was going to learn the most important lesson of my life. The lesson that everyone was only as good as or as bad as the environment or surrounding allowed them to be. But nature had chosen hard way for me to learn that I was mistaken. 
         I gathered up all the strength left in me and tried to get up. This time I was successful. When I got on my feet, my legs, torso and neck were badly aching. I was feeling really weak but that was not the time to wail over what I have undergone. That was the time to act fast and use the presence of mind. I could see lions and hyenas engaging in fight with each other. They were distracted. That was my only chance to make a successful escape attempt. I started to run with all the might. Hyenas had scared the lions away by that time and noticed me running away. They darted towards me but I had covered a lot of ground before they had realized that I was not present on the scene. They started to gain on me because they were really fast and I was feeling weak. I still had not examined myself properly after that onslaught from those savages. Suddenly I heard the thunder of the cloud. I was so caught up in the escape, first from lions and then from hyenas, that I had not noticed clouds covering the sky. They had come out of nowhere. May be nature wanted to save me from these beasts too. It was all shaping up to be a thunderstorm and hyenas were still pursuing me.
        Meanwhile, it started to rain cats and dogs. Even rain did not discourage hyenas to leave me alone. They were not willing to give up a hard fought trophy so easily. They would fight for their prize till the very last breath. Then there was a deafening noise, a noise so intense that almost made my ear drums burst. It was preceded with a flash of light blinding all of us. I was still going despite all that. I could not afford to look back and see what had happened. After sometime I noticed that hyenas were not following me anymore. At that time I looked back and saw a spectacle that left me dazed. A bolt of lightning had struck hyenas from the sky. It directly fell on them and killed three of them. They were shocked by what had happened and ran for their lives. I felt as if nature had its own hand in that incident. I felt as if I was the special one who had been saved by the divine intervention and I thanked nature for that. I was being extremely grateful because my survival was no less than a miracle. I had heard about miracles all my childhood but never believed in them. But this time nature itself had taught me that miracles do happen and I was extremely thankful to the nature for that miracle. I felt as if I had been saved once again.
       By that time, rain had slowed down and had almost stopped. A very fast wind was sweeping across the plains of savanna. The lightning that saved me also started fire in the jungle and wind was the spreading factor. It was as if wind and fire had made the pact to help each other. Wind was spreading the fire rapidly. All the animals were running away from the fire and trying to reach a safe and secure place. I also ran away. I kept on walking as I had moved into the territory I had never seen before. The whereabouts of the territory were unknown to me. It was an alien place to me. I was feeling lost because I did not know my way back to my herd. I knew no one in that territory. All those nightmares of being trapped in a secluded place and being alone were about to become reality.
       I had wandered to an alien land and it was getting dark too. This was the first night of my life without my family and friends. Huh…… Which family and friends? Those, who left me alone, at the mercy of the beasts, when I needed them most. My nightmares had turned into reality. I had to face the biggest fear of my life, loneliness. I was all by myself in that wilderness with no sign of life anywhere.
       This was the first time that I noticed myself after all that mystery, drama, thrill and fear. I noticed that there were stains of blood all over my body. Blood had clotted and it was as tough as leather on my belly and legs. I tried to peel those clots but it was painful so I restrained. There was a bite mark on my throat but luckily it was not too deep as to puncture my carotid arteries. There were several bite marks on my torso and some of them had pierced through the fabric of my skin into the flesh. I could see my see parts of my bowel popping out of my belly. I knew I had to suffer slow painful death and no one would come to my help this time. Blood was still oozing out from the wounds in my thighs. Too much loss of blood had weakened me to such a degree that I could not move an inch. I was sitting below a tree with moderate height and not a very thick canopy. It was dark and I could barely see my own self. It was a dark night due to the cloud cover. I could not see the bright stars that consoled me during the days of my happiness and childhood. They were my partners on long moon lit nights. I was missing them a lot. I wanted to farewell this world in their presence. I wanted them to be there and solace me in that time. I wished that they would come and tell me that I did not need to worry and that I was just moving from earth to the skies. I wanted them to tell me that it was not the end and it was just a transformation phase from one life to another. But that was all a dream. It was time to face the reality of going into nothingness all alone. 
        I was wondering how cruel nature was. First it made my life hell by letting me face my hunters, then it gave me hope out of nowhere and finally it chose a painful and slow death. Hunters would have not been as cruel as nature. They would have killed me instantaneously. But to die slow insidious death was really painful. I was alone and waited for the moment when death would put me out of the misery of waiting. But I was not lucky enough I had to wait and wait and wait. It was like eternity. It felt as if I had been waiting for death to come and take me away for centuries but there were no signs of it. Finally, darkness started to fill the field of my vision. That was the sign of death and I knew I was going to die any time sooner. Gradually the darkness and haziness in front of eyes start to increase until I was completely blinded. It was the moment when I was going to confront death. My whole life flashed back in front of my eyes. All the pleasant and bitter moments were passing in front of my eyes as if I were reliving them. That moment seemed like a real long time. And finally I went to eternal sleep. I went into nothingness which I was so afraid of. The bitter reality of death was that there was no transformation to another world and I had gone into nothingness like many others before me. I had died alone as I was born alone.
         
     

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Ungratefulness, a blessing in disguise

Human nature is   truly an ungrateful one and I think this trait has led to our progress. Our  habit  of not being  satisfied  with what we get and what we achieve, is the biggest motivating  factor  that has led to our success and improvement.
            Now the question arises, “Why am I being so philosophical about human ungratefulness?”  The  answer  to this question is a bit complicated. Today I was preparing for my viva voce exam and I was crazy scared  that I was going to  fail because I had studied for, like , one day  ( to cover the syllabus of the whole year in one day :p ). I was hoping that I might  be able to give a few answers right so that professor got the impression that I had studied.  When , in effect, I gave my viva voce exam, I was able to  answer 80%  of the questions.  But when I got out of the examination room,  I was  worried about those I had dropped. I  kept on arguing with myself that if I had  shown a bit common sense and presence of mind I would have answered them too.                                          
                               At that moment, I reflected on my attitude before and after the exam and I could not help myself wondering that I was being extremely ungrateful. I wondered how I changed my standard from getting anything right to absolute perfection. But then I realized that it was not something peculiar to my behavior, it was in my instincts. In other words, it is human nature. I was feeling guilty at my ungrateful attitude at first, but then I accepted my nature and instincts.
        I started to think the whole thing in more detail and analyzed it. I came to the conclusion that ungrateful behavior is not a curse, in fact it’s a blessing in disguise. It’s one of those traits that are working unnoticeably in our society and our lives that help us survive as a community. I do not feel any moral repression in welcoming and accepting ungratefulness because it has helped mankind in unimaginable ways. It’s ungratefulness that has enabled us to struggle or strive for achieving better standards. The golden trait that keeps us on our toes and urges us to always look for better options in everything because when you are satisfied you do not work hard and you get lazy. A satisfied person does not necessarily look above or beyond himself, but an ungrateful person is always sifting through the options and trying to use novel methods. And these aspects are hallmarks of a society that is showing progress.